I went back to look for you today.
Your face haunted me for weeks. I had no choice. I had to go back and find you.
I thought maybe you could use a friend, someone just to talk to.
For three hours I walked the streets. I was so sure you had to be there somewhere.
It wasn’t cold this time. It was actually a bit too warm to be comfortable in my sweatpants and a t-shirt so I stopped to buy water.
I wondered if the temperature was ever just right for those with no home to go to.
I wondered if you had cold water to drink so I bought a few extras to bring to you.
As the sweat began to trickle down my back, I finally gave up.
I headed back to my truck.
I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw you sitting there, right where I had left you before. Where had you been?
I stood there for the longest time trying to find the courage to talk to you. I blurted out something about it being a gorgeous day and you just looked at me like I was a total idiot but I had looked for you too long to back down now so I just stood there, looking past you towards the water.
I asked you if you would mind if I sat down for a bit and you gave me that look again.
I sat down anyway.
You pretty much ignored me as you wrote something down on your tiny slips of paper, but every now and then I saw you peek up at me.
I figured this was okay too, just sitting there with you, enjoying the cool breeze coming across the water.
When you spoke, your voice was so quiet I barely heard you, but I smiled and nodded my head. Mostly I just listened because when I did respond you told me that you weren’t initiating a discussion with me. That made me smile again. I saw that little smirk you gave me and I was content to just sit there with you.
Then my phone rang and our worlds collided.
I knew you didn’t like it and I tried to silence it quickly.
It was too late. You began slowly putting your stuff away as you prepared to leave.
I tried to give you a few bucks. You told me you didn’t want my money.
I knew it was too late. I had broken the moment. I had intruded on your solitude.
I’m sorry.
I won’t give up though. I will be back because now that little smirk is gonna haunt me.
You may not need me, but I think I need you.
Next time I’ll make sure my phone is shut off.
Maybe I’ll bring lunch to share…