Cricket’s Thoughts

Everywhere you look, you will find information supporting the fact that nicotine is out of your system about 3 days after your last cigarette. For some reason they associate that timeline with how long people will experience withdrawal symptoms after years of heavy smoking.

You will hear it over and over again, that if you can just make it through the first week or two, you have it made! I am convinced that this particular misinformation plays a major role in why so many people fail in their attempts to quit smoking.

The truth is that if you have been a heavy smoker over a long period of time, you might feel like crap when you first quit.

The problem is that very few people will warn you about this part. They are so busy talking about all of the wonderful things, that they don’t mention that you may experience sadness or depression, and have absolutely no energy. Activities as basic as getting off the couch may require an act of congress!

Your gums, tongue and throat may be extremely sore, and some folks will begin coughing more than ever. You may feel achy all over, as if you are coming down with something.

Although you will hear about people gaining a few pounds, how come no one talks about the never ending ravenous feeling of hunger that nothing seems to fill?

When the doctors mention that you may feel a bit airheaded for a few days, why don’t they come right out and tell you that you might feel so distracted for a few weeks that you may do stupid stuff, like sit at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green? Or, lose the truck at Wal-Mart because you can’t remember where you parked?

Did anyone bother telling you that you may react VERY differently to caffeine after you quit smoking? You may very well have been able to swim in pots of coffee any time of day or night before, and now all of the sudden, just thinking about coffee keeps you from sleeping at night, even though you spent the entire day barely able to keep your eyes open!

Guess what? Some of these things can last well beyond a few days.

If you are not prepared for this, it can be overwhelming. You may start to ask yourself if it is all worth it.

Here is the deal though, it doesn’t last forever.

You will start feeling better.

The alternative is that if you continue smoking, you won’t get better.

Do I want you to know all of this so you will get scared out of quitting? Heck no! I just firmly believe that if you know exactly what to expect, and for how long, you can prepare yourself to face and deal with everything, one step at a time.

I have now been 100% nicotine free for three weeks!

Wow! I have been 100% nicotine free for two weeks now. I have to admit though, it has been the longest two weeks in my entire life.

Strangely enough, the first few days were easier than the second week. I finally realized it was because the second week, although there were fewer cravings, they would catch me totally off guard, when I least expected it.

Thankfully though, I had prepared for those types of situations, and always had something nearby to get me past the roughest moments.

For me, this has been hard candy, especially Tootsie Pops and Charms Blow Pops. I can’t begin to tell you why, but for some reason I am totally hooked on the red ones.

I figure next week I will concern myself with the lollipop addiction. For right now though, the lollipops keep me sane! One of the major things that has kept me from even thinking about lighting up, is knowing that I never want to go through nicotine withdrawal again.

I have already experienced some changes in my daily life. One of those changes is the sudden, almost overwhelming, improvement to my sense of smell. My dogs have had several baths in the last few weeks!

The smell of cigarettes has become almost nauseating for me, especially when someone is talking to me who has just finished a cigarette. This actually surprised me a little, as I expected to feel cravings, but reality has been exactly the opposite.

I have not noticed a significant change in the taste of things, unless of course you count that I think that cherry lollipops are heaven on earth.

I realize that I have quite a ways to go yet, and that many people fail as soon as they think they have it beat. I will likely remain on the CHANTIXâ„¢ and WELLBUTRIN XL for at least 12 weeks.

Both medications can be taken for a second 12 weeks if needed. I have not experienced more than minimal side effects from either of these medications, and of course the biggest benefit for me was that neither involved nicotine replacement.

I may not be there yet, but I am well on my way…

I’m a bit anxious and more than a little irritable. I have had a pounding headache since about noon. The weirdest sensation is a feeling that I am forgetting something very important that I should be doing.

I have no interest in talking, and most noises bother me right now. I would love to be able to fall asleep and wake up in a few weeks, already past all of this.

After nearly 34 years smoking, there just aren’t too many activities that I don’t associate with smoking, so telling me to find different activities to distract me for the first few days is a bit pointless.

I associate everything with smoking.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it is easier than I expected. It’s not. Every time I think it can’t get much worse, it does.

The most difficult moments are those when, without thinking, I reach for a cigarette, and suddenly realize that they are not there.

Whoever decided to describe the feeling during those moments as “urges” couldn’t possibly be a smoker. Urge, doesn’t come close to describing the feeling that comes in overwhelming waves periodically throughout the day.

Telling me to chew gum, suck on a lemon drop, or drink a glass of water until the moment passes feels a bit like handing a fireman a squirt gun to put out a fire.

It doesn’t matter though, because the decision has been made.

I will beat this addiction. I will succeed.

Anyone that knows me at all, already knows that I have a very special place in my heart for animals, especially dogs. Living with my daughter Haley, is what I would imagine it would be like to live with Maya Dolittle. Animals of all types just seem to be drawn to her.

Every animal we have ever owned has been one that we have rescued, or a stray that wandered up on our porch and then into our hearts. In the case of Jack (Chunk) and Lady Katherine, their mama, Sassy, was a stray. Today, they are members of our family.

Apparently I have been living under a rock somewhere. I honestly had no clue of the horror that goes on behind the scenes of a puppy mill.

I am embarrassed to admit that I figured that puppy mills were heavily regulated and imagined them to be similar to quality boarding. That belief came to an abrupt end today while I was reading a heart wrenching rescue story written by Veronica of FurFantasy.com about a rescue going on right now because of a puppy mill closing.

Hearing and seeing just some of the details literally made me sick to my stomach and extremely sad. How is it possible that this is happening here today in the United States of America?

Shih Tzus & Furbabies is a very special organization that goes beyond the call of duty to rescue animals and find them loving homes. Please take a moment to visit their donation page today to see if there is something that you can do to help make a difference.

Part of my plan to quit smoking included scheduling an appointment with my doctor to discuss possible options that might help me get through the process without turning into the Wicked Witch of the South. The problem is, I am one of those people that simply cannot stand going to the doctor.

Actually I don’t much like visiting anyone with an evil grin on their face that seems to derive great pleasure from stabbing me in the butt with a needle big enough to take an elephant down.

To be fair to the medical community though, I admit that I don’t make a very good patient. By the time they get done dealing my crankiness, they probably truly enjoy the very thought of inflicting pain on me.

The words that he had to tell me today, stopped me dead in my tracks.

I was trying to get some relief from his nagging lecture by telling him that I truly did understand that this was probably my last chance to finally quit smoking. He explained to me that no, I didn’t seem to understand at all.

“This isn’t about being your last chance to quit smoking. This is your last chance to live. We are no longer just fighting the addiction. We are fighting for your life. If we don’t get a handle on this right now, you won’t be around next year, let alone long enough to see your daughter graduate.”

No matter how stubborn you are, those are words that will get your attention in a hurry. I was no exception. He had my full attention. Now it is all just a matter of setting the plan in motion so that I will be around long enough to drive y’all crazy! (grin)

In addition to multiple medications to fight the chronic infection in my lungs, this time I am armed with CHANTIX and WELLBUTRIN XL to help me beat my overwhelming addiction for nicotine.

Allowing time for the medication to build up in my system, leaves me with a quit smoking date of February 5th. The night of February 4th, I will lay down my cigarettes for the last time.

I have no doubt in my mind that I will succeed.

It has been nearly 34 years since I picked up my first cigarette in the sixth grade. I remember being intrigued by the television commercials aimed at women (You’ve Come a Long Way Baby) and I truly believed that it made me look sophisticated.

By the time I graduated from high school, I was smoking a full pack of cigarettes every day.

In my twenties I decided to quit smoking. It lasted about three days, before I went back to smoking more than I did to begin with. I loved smoking, but I detested being a smoker.

Throughout my thirties, I began having trouble with chronic bronchitis. The doctors warned me repeatedly that if I did not quit smoking, I would die of emphysema at a very young age. I went through two more attempts to beat this powerful addiction. I tried patches, and nicotine gum, and at times, both at the same time.

Again, I failed and my smoking only increased.

The guilt of failure was overwhelming. I was humiliated to admit that again I had failed. I would actually hide behind the dumpsters at work to sneak a cigarette, scared to death that someone would see me.

Even my daughter looking into my eyes and begging me to quit smoking did not give me the power to beat this horrible addiction.

I hated myself.

By the time I hit forty, I was a three pack a day smoker. I was so ashamed that I would not admit it to anyone, including my doctors. Through it all, I kept to the story that I smoked about a pack a day. Zyban did nothing to help me, except make me feel like crap.

About this time, with tears streaming down my face, I got down on my knees and literally begged God to give me the strength to overcome this. I could not understand how it was possible that I had overcome every challenge I had ever faced in my life, but I could not beat my addiction for nicotine.

I am now 45 years old and breathing has become a struggle. I smoke an average of four packs daily, even though I spend hours a day coughing. I know in my heart that this is my last chance to quit, or I will not live to see my daughter graduate from high school.

Why, after all these years am I now willing to admit my utter shame and tell this story publicly? Because I want to reach out to others that might be out there, just like me. I want to tell my story.

Plans change. Decisions don’t.

I have made the DECISION to quit smoking, no matter what it takes.

By making my decision and my story public, knowing that others may be reading who might be praying (like I was) for strength, maybe I can help them believe it can be done.

I am going to blog about my journey throughout this decision often. If it helps even one person out there, it will be worth it.