Cricket

Considering how ADHD I am, people are usually surprised to hear that I am a creature of habit. I tend to do things the same way over and over again. Heck, I even keep buying the same pair of Nike Air Max shoes 3 or 4 times a year. In my defense, I did buy a different color this time. Of course, that is only because they didn’t have the same color as my previous pair. (grin)

I am trying my best to be more open to trying new things, so out of the blue I decided to try a new local restaurant. (Pho 4 Star Noodle House) I mean, noodles are noodles, right? How much risk was I really taking here? I figure the worse case scenario was I could always leave and go to Whataburger if I really hated it, right?

Within a few minutes I knew I was probably in over my head here. For one thing, I couldn’t pronounce anything on the menu, so I just looked at the pictures. I gave up and finally asked my amazing server, even though I could only understand about every third word she said. She told me what I would be ordering tonight. No, seriously. She really did!

When the first plate arrived, I started planning a to-go order from Whataburger because I knew I was fixin’ be leaving this place hungry. What is this, rabbit food? REALLY? She must have noticed the look on my face because she grinned and assured me that it was for my soup.

Then heaven started showing up on my table. These little cream cheese appetizers had me drooling all over myself. Then this GIANT bowl of soup came. It tasted so yummy that I decided to trust my server and dump the plate of rabbit food in it. There was no way in heaven’s name I could eat it all. I may have to move to Vietnam if that is what all their food tastes like.

I will probably still wake up a creature of habit tomorrow, but I think maybe I will focus on trying more new things now and then…

I spent weeks (months) trying to figure out how to get back into writing again. I put it off for so long that I truly didn’t have a clue where to begin.

I had all these wonderful tips and ideas listed in my search for motivation.

• Research new topics.
• Go on another photo journey.
• Take an online writing class.
• Read a gazillion blogs for inspiration.
• See just how long I can keep on procrastinating.
• And so on and so on…

Then suddenly it dawned on me.

Just shut up & blog.

Psycho Treadmill: So you think you can take me on, huh?

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: C’mon girl. Is that all you got?

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: Let’s kick this up a bit, wuss.

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: Ha! Getting tired already? Seriously?

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: Your heart is barely pounding.

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: What? You think you can drown me out with a little Kelly Clarkson?

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: You better turn it up real loud.

Me: Shut up!

Psycho Treadmill: Hello? Are you listening to me?

Psycho Treadmill: Hello?

I went back to look for you today.

Your face haunted me for weeks. I had no choice. I had to go back and find you.

I thought maybe you could use a friend, someone just to talk to.

For three hours I walked the streets. I was so sure you had to be there somewhere.

It wasn’t cold this time. It was actually a bit too warm to be comfortable in my sweatpants and a t-shirt so I stopped to buy water.

I wondered if the temperature was ever just right for those with no home to go to.

I wondered if you had cold water to drink so I bought a few extras to bring to you.

As the sweat began to trickle down my back, I finally gave up.

I headed back to my truck.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw you sitting there, right where I had left you before. Where had you been?

I stood there for the longest time trying to find the courage to talk to you. I blurted out something about it being a gorgeous day and you just looked at me like I was a total idiot but I had looked for you too long to back down now so I just stood there, looking past you towards the water.

I asked you if you would mind if I sat down for a bit and you gave me that look again.

I sat down anyway.

You pretty much ignored me as you wrote something down on your tiny slips of paper, but every now and then I saw you peek up at me.

I figured this was okay too, just sitting there with you, enjoying the cool breeze coming across the water.

When you spoke, your voice was so quiet I barely heard you, but I smiled and nodded my head. Mostly I just listened because when I did respond you told me that you weren’t initiating a discussion with me. That made me smile again. I saw that little smirk you gave me and I was content to just sit there with you.

Then my phone rang and our worlds collided.

I knew you didn’t like it and I tried to silence it quickly.

It was too late. You began slowly putting your stuff away as you prepared to leave.

I tried to give you a few bucks. You told me you didn’t want my money.

I knew it was too late. I had broken the moment. I had intruded on your solitude.

I’m sorry.

I won’t give up though. I will be back because now that little smirk is gonna haunt me.

You may not need me, but I think I need you.

Next time I’ll make sure my phone is shut off.

Maybe I’ll bring lunch to share…

I believe in hope.
I believe in faith.
I believe laughter heals.
I believe I can make a difference.
I believe in the goodness of people.
I believe in the beauty of the world around me.
And, I still believe in love…

The first day of January I always feel as if I have come to the end of a long dark tunnel (December) and I’m excited to find the light again. I grabbed my camera and headed out the door in search of brighter days. What did I find? A dark and dreary day.

Maybe sometimes we have to create our own light. Maybe next time I need to bring some food to get these guys to pay attention to me! (click the picture!)