Cricket's Thoughts

An Angry Sea of Pain

Angry Sea of PainYou wake up thinking it is going to be a beautiful day because the roses that have been trying to die for months, finally decided to bloom.

You look up and notice a dark cloud looming in the horizon.

You know in your heart that a storm is beginning to brew, a storm that your family will never recover from.

Everything you have ever truly believed in is false.

Absolutely nothing is the way you thought it was.

Your confidence as a parent is shaken to the very core.

The man you would have died for is not the man you thought he was.

You discover that love is not unconditional, that it is possible for love to turn to utter hatred in a blink of an eye.

You feel yourself drowning in an angry sea of pain and sorrow.

This is one nightmare that you are not going to wake up from.

There aren’t going to be any rainbows.

In that moment you realize that life will never again be the same.

Cricket Walker

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  • Reply Jeri-Lynn Woods June 4, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    People WILL let you down – but not all people. A beloved face turns out to be a mask over something horrible; but not all faces wear masks, and even those that do may be hiding no more than their own pain and vulnerability.

    DON’T GIVE UP. Be angry, rage, cry, grieve, be anguished… but go on. Tomorrow will dawn.

    From someone who has received some of what you have freely given…

  • Reply Christy June 4, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    Awww…my sweet, sweet friend. I have felt much of what you so beautifully described above, but only you know how your storm feels. Unconditional love DOES exist. Nothing can separate the love you have for your daughter and I bet she knows that.

    I’m with you in the storm.

  • Reply Ann June 6, 2007 at 9:17 pm

    Cricket, I just made a comment about your post entitled, “Still Stands Tall and Proud” that should have been made here. I hope you will go to that site to read my comment. Many of us want to support you in going through this tough time. Ann

  • Reply Cricket Walker June 13, 2007 at 12:39 am

    Around these parts of the world, not many people have seen a cricket game played with a bat and ball. Cricket brings to mind an insect that chirps or a game of darts. In this case, it has been my name for 45 years now. 😉

  • Reply Monica June 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    I just happened upon your site while searching google for information about the Watermelon Carnival. Your writing are beautiful and inspiring. I live in Water Valley but I don’t know that many people. Anyway, I will be checking back for more stories and such. Good Job and God Bless.

  • Reply Jennifer June 14, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    The storms of life will come; they always do. And there are times that they are utterly overwhelming, enough to drown you, just as you so eloquently described.

    The Bible tells the account of when Peter went out to Jesus on the sea, while the waters raged around him, walking on the water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he never faltered. But the minute he took his eyes off the Savior, and looked at the terrible storm, he began to sink. He cried out to Jesus to save him, and Jesus immediately grasped him and lifted him up.

    The storm continued. Peter had to take that terrifying walk on the water back to the boat, with only the Hand of Jesus to trust and the memory of his near drowning experience fresh in his mind. Only when they reached the boat did the storm cease.

    Dearest Cricket, beloved of God, you have not yet reached the boat. Keep hanging onto the hand of Jesus as walk through this terrible storm.

    There IS a rainbow, for a rainbow is God’s promise in the midst of the storm that He will never again destroy all of mankind. Even now, may His love be that rainbow for you.

    You are right, there is no unconditional love on this earth. We humans are incapable of unconditional love, but can grow towards that goal by learning from the One who shows it every day. Jesus DOES love you unconditionally, and He will be your Rock, your Husband, your Strength. He is the only One who will never ever let you go. May He wrap you up in His everlasting arms today and draw you closer to His grace.

    You and your precious little charge from heaven are in my prayers!

  • Reply Cricket Walker June 20, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Many thanks to everyone for their wonderful words of encouragement! 🙂

  • Reply Lisa October 28, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog postings, and am wondering “How have you gotten inside my head?” How DO you keep on going?

    I’ll share more thoughts with you if you will do the same for me…please?
    Life IS hard, and I find that my inner thoughtlife has influenced me more than I care to admit… to most people.

    Please respond to my invitation, if you can. I ask very little, give as much as I can, and am very loyal.


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