Day One Without a Cigarette

No smoking

I’m a bit anxious and more than a little irritable. I have had a pounding headache since about noon. The weirdest sensation is a feeling that I am forgetting something very important that I should be doing.

I have no interest in talking, and most noises bother me right now. I would love to be able to fall asleep and wake up in a few weeks, already past all of this.

After nearly 34 years smoking, there just aren’t too many activities that I don’t associate with smoking, so telling me to find different activities to distract me for the first few days is a bit pointless.

I associate everything with smoking.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it is easier than I expected. It’s not. Every time I think it can’t get much worse, it does.

The most difficult moments are those when, without thinking, I reach for a cigarette, and suddenly realize that they are not there.

Whoever decided to describe the feeling during those moments as “urges” couldn’t possibly be a smoker. Urge, doesn’t come close to describing the feeling that comes in overwhelming waves periodically throughout the day.

Telling me to chew gum, suck on a lemon drop, or drink a glass of water until the moment passes feels a bit like handing a fireman a squirt gun to put out a fire.

It doesn’t matter though, because the decision has been made.

I will beat this addiction. I will succeed.

Cricket Walker

Leave a Reply

Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser.